Friday, April 6, 2012

How to Train for Cycling Success

There are a lot of respected cycling coaches out there with tested and proven techniques to improve your strength, power and endurance.  But I'm telling you right now its all BULLSHIT.  If you really want to know how to kickstart yourself on a path to cycling greatness follow these however many steps I come up with:

1. Take the longest ride you've done in the last 6 months.
2. Multiply it by 4.
3. Make sure you include several big mountain passes.
4. Only invite strong riders with mid-season fitness due to a lackluster (or in their opinion very luster) winter.
5. Tell yourself before the ride you will keep things reasonable with a century pace.
6. Immediately ignore that plan as soon as you roll out of the parking lot.
7. Take one "massive pull" from minute 0 to minute 6 and then hang on for dear life for the rest of the ride.
8. Hang tough during the first 30mi at not century pace.
9. When the first mountain pass hits hold on for half and then demonstrate how to go backwards on a bike.
10. Enjoy the descent.  Seriously, enjoy it cause you're about to go to a dark, dark place.
11. Think about anything other than the 14mi gradual climb up to the 13% headwall between you and the car.
12. Again, hang tough but this time for far less than half the climb.
13. Realize that those 15-25mph WNW winds the weather man was talking about are now right in your face.
14. Now realize that your legs can't even handle 2% let alone 13%.
15. Start thinking about very confusing and complex subjects like particle physics and quantum mechanics to pass the time.
17. Get relieved as you see the slow lane forming ahead of you knowing the climb is almost done.
18. Then get horrified as the pitch gets steeper and steeper.
19. Keep your cadence at about 10. We don't want to get too crazy here.
20. Channel the Little Engine that Could.
21. Crest the climb and continue plugging at those WNW winds.
22. Wait for that inevitable and blessed broom wagon.


I guarantee I win Willowdale.

So as you can see I had a hell of a time on this lovely Good Friday.  The first 30mi were great. Myself, Ryan LaRocque, Bully, Carl, Art and Andrew were cruising right along making it into Gorham averaging a hair over 20mph.  Even in Glen after Pinkham we were still averaging 19+.  All in all I have mixed reviews on my fitness.  I think for April I'm good.  I was able to hang with a group a tad above my pay grade for 30 in rolling terrain.  I'll take that and conveniently memory erase most of the rest.  What doesn't kill you right? RIGHT?!

Temps were chilly getting started but the sun made it out and things were perfect for the rest of the day.  Except for those damn winds!

I was Living Free and Dying when I took this


  1. Anonymous4/06/2012

    wow sounds awful! did carl actually pick you up in his truck? haha. nice job not dying, seriously.


  2. Indeed he did. I was probably about 5mi and 30mins behind them and they were hungry and didn't want to wait. I was just outside Twin Mountain when he got me. I would have made it but I only had one speed at that point.

    Kind of a strange day, not so much true horrifying suffering, my legs just didn't have it after 60mi but if I went slow and kept the watts low I was fine.

  3. Warrior! Kevin, spot on with the 22 items above. Nothing you could have done better. Where's Pinney!

  4. That's a pretty ambitious ride for this time of year. I think I would have been off the back with you waiting for that wagon. Sounds painful. Still, I wish I could have made it down there.

  5. werd up man! great push....particle physics eh? haha...that's awesome I usually rely on music theory or composing counterpoint when I'm in my permanently reserved seat in the pain cave

  6. Sounds perfect. If you wait until later in the year to do ambitious rides then you won't be ready until later in the year. I'm all for the start hard and explode approach.

  7. Nice ride! You need to write a book. Awesome.


    this was very enjoyable to read. you're very smart.